Everything is broken pt.2
Do you remember the excitement you felt when you bought your first record? Do you recall the exquisite thrill of your first kiss? Now imagine them in reverse. Taken away from you. Or ever worse being forced to surrender them, sell them to the highest bidder, but alas, being sold for peanuts. What a waste of time and what a way to demolish your memories. Oh, yes. Your memories as well. Because, when the life you were building collapses, your memories lie in ruins as well. Maybe you are too close to the collapse incident to think of it as an “experience”: collected, recorded, learnt and on to the next one. No. You suffer and you suffocate. You punch and kick around and unfortunately the only people left around you are the ones you don’t want to hurt. But you do. And the memories that were supposed to keep you together, just fade, fly or whatever you want to call it. You might carry on living with your man or woman for a bit longer, not out of love or memories, but out of need, accumulated speed or simply because you are too weak to make decisions. Maybe, the wiser ones know about such situations already and wait for the storm to go by. But believe me, something’s changed. And this change is permanent, follows you for the rest of your life and you either deal with it and make it a useful experience, or haunts you as a never ending present.
You may think, why make such a big deal out of it. Why your story should be more interesting than the stories of winners, success and overcoming of problematic situations.
For two reasons: First, because these other stories are stories that happen to a very small percentage of the population. They are true alright, but statistically they are bound to come true only to a chosen few. OK, random few. Well, a mix of the two. When a crisis strikes, some see it as a disaster and some see it as an opportunity. Let me tell you this: The way the world is structured, mainly by economy, has a specific number of “spots” for people. Yes, I admit that these spots are quite lucrative, but the fact is that they are few. I also admit that even though I don’t endorse this structure, I try to be prepared for such “opportunities”, even though deep inside me, something fights back and I end up sabotaging my own plans. So, it is all about reshuffling the cards. Some people’s losses are other people’s gains. But always in the same or smaller numbers!
Secondly, because every story is another way to spend the time of your life, by getting what is, to my humble opinion, second hand experiences. By second hand, I mean experiences that are not created by you, but merely suggested by the writer and recreated by the reader. So, by choosing to write a story of a not-so-successful person, I just voice the average person’s misfortunes, maybe with a bit of exaggeration and surely a bit of humor. After all truth tends to be bitter and needs a spoon full of sugar or to be sugar coated if you ingest it in the form of a pill. So this is a story to make you feel that you have something in common with most people and not a story to dream about the successful few.
Now that I come to think of it the two reasons are in fact one and the same. But this is always a problem when you start writing something and being interrupted. You come back, in front of your screen or empty page and you have completely forgotten what you intended to write. And since you don’t want to delete everything and start over, you tend to either squeeze your brain or just come up with something else to fill the gap. Well, life is like that, and you have to make the most of it, simply because contrary to a written text, you can not go back and undo the mistakes. You have to live with them and find ways to fix them as you go along. Oh, and I promise you a second reason and still a couple more will pop up further down the story. Just hold tight it is going to be a hell of a ride. Gravity will make sure of it!
By the way, what follows is true but has only connections with real incidents. If you want pure fiction watch the news on the TV and read the newspapers. Both are untrue but try to form a new reality that suits only the wealthy owners of the media. And in order to keep this illusion, they have special permission by the politicians not to publish any disclaimers, like the one I am writing now.